Welp...herpes.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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