dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
