She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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