You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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