She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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