She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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