I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
