he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
