Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just invented taco cereal.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
