i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
