I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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