its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
