They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
