But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize