walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
