I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Semen is not good for contacts.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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