That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
