If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
