no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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