You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize