Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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