So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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