5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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