We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
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I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
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Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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