a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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