Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
