Taylor Swift is so right about you.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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