I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
