his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
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Is her dick bigger than yours?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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