It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
