so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
