he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize