YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
