PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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