Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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