Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
