her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
4 words: hood of his car
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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