I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
