I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i will never coherently bang her
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
