oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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