I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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