There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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