yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
