I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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