Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize