I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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