Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
