Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
