there was a trapeze. enough said
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
