If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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