i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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