Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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