Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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