Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
