Will you blow on my dice?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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