i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd