Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*