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He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
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