I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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