I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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