I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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