So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
