...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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