i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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