And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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