I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
did i walk over a car last night?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
